Fat Woman With A Band

Today I did my first workout in almost three weeks. All I can say is OWEE!

I did a 10.2km walk with my half-marathon training group. I walked with a couple of women with whom I keep the same pace. We each exclaimed that we felt we were walking slowly, and not at our usual speed. Each of the others had done quite a bit of walking yesterday and last week. I had done nothing.

The curious thing was that though we felt we were walking slowly, we actually did quite a good pace and finished in just over an hour and a half. That’s a bit slower pace than I would want for the half-marathon, but not as slow as I felt I was going.

I was most definitely pooped afterwards though, and very stiff. The two weeks of very light walking didn’t keep my fitness level up. Oh, well. I have nine weeks to race day. And I know I’ll be able to improve my speed.

As for the food bit … always the most difficult aspect of my wellness. I could have done a lot better making food choices while I was away, but at the same time I could have done a whole lot worse. The unusual blip for me though, was this – I had an alcoholic beverage, and sometimes two, everyday for two weeks. I have never, ever done that. I didn’t regret it for a moment, and I haven’t had one since I returned. It was just a curiousity for me.

Getting back on my path, and getting back to the gym tomorrow morning. Oy! I can feel the pain already.

Confession time. I’ve blown off my workouts lately. I don’t even need an excuse to to stop doing the “right” thing, I just stop.

I need to figure out how to turn the robot part of me on so that I’ll continue to do my morning workouts, and make the correct food choices. I’m doing the half-marathon walking training partly because there’s a group involved, so I haven’t blown that activity off. I know that it may seem that if I just worked with a trainer again for the morning workouts I’d go, but I don’t think so. At least I’m not ready to find another trainer.

Sometimes the exercise feels like work I don’t like. And sometimes it feels like work I do like. I feel so much better in my body when I incorporate the activity and the correct food choices. Yet, somehow, I can sabotage myself and not do the activities and make the right choices.

Complain, complain.

Let’s look on the bright side … o.k. I’m off on another trip in the next couple of days. Exeter-Yeovil-London-Paris-Barcelona, with most of the time in Yeovil and Barcelona. I’m very much looking forward to it. I’ll be able to continue my walking for sure, and I’ll actually have a good excuse for neglecting the gym workouts.

I know the button to turn on the correct responses is somewhere in me.

I’m never in the moment. I’m always trying to get to the other side. I don’t remember to enjoy the journey, or experience happiness in reaching the goal. I just want to get to the other side.

That may help me when racing. That is maybe it’ll help push myself to finish the half-marathon in less than 3hrs and 40min. I recognize that I may not then enjoy the walk itself. The thing is, I do want to enjoy the walk. So during this training, I’m going to have to work on enjoying the walk. Wonder how I do that?

I know that during the training one easy way to enjoy the walk is talking to the other participants. Everybody has a story. Some exciting, some boring, but something. And one of the participants said that she found one way to enjoy the walk is for a “treat” during the walk. She didn’t mean food or drink; she meant a beautiful plant, a songbird, or a beautiful vista.

Working on enjoyment of the journey – another task on the list. Changing your body is a lot easier than changing your mind.

I’m starting week 2 of the “walking a half-marathon” training. It all seems do-able, happily. Basically a whole bunch of walking, with some uphill walking to build strength, and then fast walking to build speed.

The hard part – I’m thinking doing the uphill walking will be hard – begins the week I’m in Barcelona. Darn. I’ll try to do it on my own the weekend after I get back, and then do it with the group from then on. I’m also thinking that even if I missed one of these hard sessions, no biggie. What might be a little difficult while away is any big walks to keep my weekly mileage up. Again, I’ll do what I can, and not stress about it.

The training is given by The Running Room/The Walking Room. There are about 20 people in the group – all women. Some women have already done a half-marathon, or a full marathon. They’re doing the training again, well, for the training I suppose. We meet three times a week, and then are expected to do some walking on our own to make sure we get the mileage in that our coach has outlined for the week.

We were asked to set some goals for ourselves. I have two easy ones – at least easy to think of, that is. The first is to finish the half-marathon in 3 hours. The second is lose 20lbs by the end of the year. Easy to say – hard to do. I’m more confident in finishing the half-marathon in 3 hours, then in the weight loss. Maybe the former will help the latter. I hope so.

I know that I need to keep my activity level up, so committing to the training is important. Exercise seems to be the key for any weight loss for me, even more than the eating.

Got to go put my walking shoes on to begin week 2.

Losing weight is like the Great Wall. It’s an upward climb, with a bit of a break, and then another climb, and another break. Over and over again. And along the way the steps are uneven, some easy, some almost insurmountable without assistance. I’m still doing the weight loss, and I walked a very little bit of the Great Wall. I couldn’t have done the latter without the former.

My China experience was everything I hoped for it to be. I saw China; I saw the places in China I wanted to see. I did the things in China I wanted to do. I left knowing where I would go back to on my next trip.

I could not have done this trip 112 lbs ago. No way. Not a chance. A couple of times, mind you, only a couple of times I saw women who looked like me more than 18 months ago. I knew exactly how they felt in their bodies, travelling in places where everybody is smaller, and where the Chinese are quite happy to stare and stare at you.

We did a lot of walking, and it was not a hardship. I ate what I wanted, when I wanted, without a second thought. I enjoyed Chinese food and the more than occasional ice cream or treat. It was all fine. I came back to a two pound weight loss. What could be better than that?

I thank S (& the kids) & M for the opportunity. Great travelling companions. A trip I will not forget.

I’m a fat person. I’ll always be a fat person even if I may one day be of average weight.

I’m saying this so that you know I have credentials for the next bit.

Fat people don’t do everything they want to do. O.K., I know that many people don’t do everything they want to do, but for the fat person lots of the stuff we don’t do is because we physically cannot.

I tried to do things. I went to movies, the theatre, travelled a bit, and worked hard (no snickering, I did do that once upon a time). But I felt that I couldn’t do as much as I wanted because of my obesity. Public seating isn’t fat-friendly. People aren’t fat-friendly. I didn’t have the stamina to walk for any length of time to explore new places. Sure I could drive – and I did – but, some experiences need to be done closer than through a car window.

For a long time my dream was to visit the Far East. I’d tell myself “When I’m skinnier, then I’ll go.”

And when I got my lapband, began losing weight, and exercising more I started to think about this dream. I wondered if I’d get there “now.”

It’s “now”. Today I go to Beijing, Shenyang, Shanghai, and Hong Kong. I feel that I can physically meet the challenges. I can walk for extended periods. I can fit in the airplane seat. I can rest comfortably in smaller spaces.

Thanks SZ and MD for the opportunity. Thanks sis, for doing my work while I’m gone. Thanks bL for understanding and supporting my fervent desire to go.

See you in 24 days.

I’m having a hard time, mentally, keeping on track. On Thursday I did not, did not, want to do my work out. I didn’t want to do the vertical crunches, the treadmill, the aquafit. Not, not, not.

But I did it. The only thing that kept me going is the thought “only four more sessions after this, and I’ve got a month’s break.” Two more upper body workouts, two more lower body workouts, and one aquafit. And somehow a bit of walking has to be worked in.

I didn’t do my long walk yesterday. My right leg and heel haven’t been 100% and I though I might be overly cautious, I just don’t want to risk making them worse just before my trip. I’m thinking rest and time will heal the heel.

My food intake, I’m reluctant to admit, has gradually increased. Or, rather my food intake of food that should only be occasional foods, has increased. Another reason I need a reset, I think. It shows I’m tired of the same old, same old.

After the trip I’m working in earnest on my half-marathon goal. So twice a week sessions at The Running Room half-marathon walking clinic, and I definite reset on my eating plan.

More exercise. Less food. More weight loss. Keep going.

There. Another goal.

Jackie sent me numbers, and as I’m all about numbers as you might have already figured out, I’m going to share them.

These numbers are the change in my body measurements. When I started training with her she took a baseline measurement of my shoulders, chest, biceps, waist, hips, thighs, and calves. And I’ve been pretty diligent about weighing myself each Wednesday morning.

I won’t bore you with the individual numbers, so here’s the summary:

total of 54.5 cm/21.5 in & 31 lbs/14kg lost in 282 days.

There was some change in each area with the most change in my hips, chest, shoulders, and waist. And with the least change in calves, biceps, and thighs.

There are a couple of other changes that are also all about numbers. The most obvious is the change in clothing size. I don’t actually remember what my clothing size was then, but I do know it’s a smaller number now. The “hidden” change is that my cholesterol numbers have decreased enough that I no longer need to take prescription medication.

As I’ve lamented the scale has not moved in many, many weeks. When I look at the measurement numbers my body has clearly changed even if the scale doesn’t reflect that change. Some day the scale will catch up … some day. Sigh.

I’m content with my progress. I wonder what the next 282 days will bring?

This week marks the end of training with Jackie. Very, very sad.

Jackie is off on her summer adventure on May 2nd, and when she returns in September she won’t be doing personal training.

It’s been an amazing time with her. I know that my fitness has improved since I began training with her in July. I’ve improved my stamina, my strength, lost weight, and lost inches. Of course, I still have lots of room for improvement.

Some sessions were depressingly difficult, where I felt I just couldn’t do what was asked in the way the exercise needed to be done. Jackie was always encouraging, always positive, always up beat. I’m not sure I ever got the “high” that some exercisers get, but the sense of accomplishment after completing a morning’s routine was huge.

Jackie has given me enough routines and ideas to keep me going for a long time. It’ll be really different doing them by myself, particularly staying motivated. I’m going to try, as I don’t want to lose the benefits I already accrued.

Thanks Jackie – you’re the best!

I like eating chocolate.

Chocolate bars

Chocolate cake.

Chocolate milk.

I like the Carolina Chocolate Drops, too.

‘Nuf said.