I can see why people find the road life compelling because you’re in this permanent state of migration. You’re not faced with yourself, you’re moving constantly away from yourself.

If I had my life to live over, I would have asked for another set of genes. The set of genes that would let me know when I’m full when I’ve ingested enough calories to keep me at an average weight. My mother, my uncle, and my sister managed to capture these genes. It’s not to say that each of them had been at exactly the same weight for their entire adult lives, because I know they each fluctuated. However, as my sister can do now, when she feels that she weighs a bit more than she’d like, she somehow has the inner resources to cut back a bit on her eating, and perhaps ramp up exercise a bit, and the excess weight sloughs off. Somehow her genes allow her to make these food/exercise decisions before she becomes overweight or obese.

I simply cannot do that. I eat quite a lot before I’m full, and I’m sure that there were times when I stopped eating because there was no more food, not because I couldn’t eat more. The curious thing is that I can do the “stopping” with alcohol easily. Not, not, not with food.

Back to the question. The banding has worked for me. I stop eating because I’m full with much smaller amounts than I would have consumed previous to the procedure. And, importantly, I can abide the side affects.

The first side affect is bad breath. I think this happens because I also have extra “spit” – I really don’t know how to explain this. I try to keep my teeth extra clean, and do a lot of gargling with non-alcoholic mouthwash.

The second side affect is the occasional productive burping. This usually happens if I’ve eaten too quickly, or not chewed my food enough. The food kinda gets caught, and I have to throw it up. I don’t do this too often now, as I’ve learned to slow down, and chew more thoroughly.

The lapband doesn’t help you make good food choices, or tell you to exercise. It helps only with volume of food you consume. You still need to DO the right stuff to lose weight, or to keep your weight under control.

So, I’m weaseling out of answering the question. The band worked for me – I don’t know if it’ll work for you.

What I did appreciate this time more than the other shows was the sheer athleticism of the performers. Now that I’ve done a very little bit of training, I think I’ve gained an appreciation of the HUGE amount of work the Cirque performers must put in to do the work they do many times a week. The shows are physically demanding, and each performer made it look effortless, polished, and beautiful.

And, of course, as this blog is about weight and size. Two stories.

The first is that I fit comfortably in the seat. I know that a little while ago I would have either just barely been able to squeeze into the seat, or at some points in the past not fit at all.

The second story is about the woman seating on my left. She and her partner just barely fit into their seats. She kinda sat on my seat. I then moved towards brooke’s seat, and then brooke moved very slightly to her right. The upshot was, that the woman sitting to brooke’s right got up and moved into the row behind us to be more comfortable. This is exactly the kind of seat shifting shenanigans I would have instigated myself. I’m thankful it wasn’t me this time – and I had a great deal of empathy for the woman who started the musical chairs. I couldn’t tell whether she noticed.

I didn’t get a lot of walking in during this trip. We were away four days and it rained almost nonstop for three days. The rain isn’t an excuse, I know. But that’s what happened.

I am a bit concerned that I haven’t trained enough for the walk that’s four weeks and three days away to ensure I finish in the time I originally hoped. However, I’m still convinced I’ll finish before the course closes. I am still walking – I did 13.5km today, and I’ve planned a bit more than 12km tomorrow. There’s also the usual LSD on Sunday. I’m going to continue to plod away. More like the turtle than the rabbit.

I’ve got fungus growing in three of them. I’ve decided to have these yucky toenails removed surgically. I’ve already had them cut back quite a bit, but need to have the last little bits dug out. I know that’s not the technical word for it, but I think you get the idea.

The happy thing is that the toes or the toenails don’t hurt, they’re just unsightly. According to the chiropodist we haven’t needed our toenails for a tens of thousands of years. They serve no purpose. So removing them won’t harm my toes or my feet. Good to know.

I decided to wait until after the half-marathon and my next trip to do it. The surgery is not a huge deal, and the recovery time is probably a week or so. I just don’t want to cut back on my training time for the marathon, and as I’m going away for a week soon after the half-marathon, I thought waiting ’til I return is the best course of action. There’s no harm in waiting as my toenails aren’t harming me, and as they’re already cut they’re not quite as ugly as they were before treatment.

So that’s what I’ve been thinking about lately – fungus and toenails. Hope your thoughts have been more fun.

I did a 10.2km walk with my half-marathon training group. I walked with a couple of women with whom I keep the same pace. We each exclaimed that we felt we were walking slowly, and not at our usual speed. Each of the others had done quite a bit of walking yesterday and last week. I had done nothing.

The curious thing was that though we felt we were walking slowly, we actually did quite a good pace and finished in just over an hour and a half. That’s a bit slower pace than I would want for the half-marathon, but not as slow as I felt I was going.

I was most definitely pooped afterwards though, and very stiff. The two weeks of very light walking didn’t keep my fitness level up. Oh, well. I have nine weeks to race day. And I know I’ll be able to improve my speed.

As for the food bit … always the most difficult aspect of my wellness. I could have done a lot better making food choices while I was away, but at the same time I could have done a whole lot worse. The unusual blip for me though, was this – I had an alcoholic beverage, and sometimes two, everyday for two weeks. I have never, ever done that. I didn’t regret it for a moment, and I haven’t had one since I returned. It was just a curiousity for me.

Getting back on my path, and getting back to the gym tomorrow morning. Oy! I can feel the pain already.

I need to figure out how to turn the robot part of me on so that I’ll continue to do my morning workouts, and make the correct food choices. I’m doing the half-marathon walking training partly because there’s a group involved, so I haven’t blown that activity off. I know that it may seem that if I just worked with a trainer again for the morning workouts I’d go, but I don’t think so. At least I’m not ready to find another trainer.

Sometimes the exercise feels like work I don’t like. And sometimes it feels like work I do like. I feel so much better in my body when I incorporate the activity and the correct food choices. Yet, somehow, I can sabotage myself and not do the activities and make the right choices.

Complain, complain.

Let’s look on the bright side … o.k. I’m off on another trip in the next couple of days. Exeter-Yeovil-London-Paris-Barcelona, with most of the time in Yeovil and Barcelona. I’m very much looking forward to it. I’ll be able to continue my walking for sure, and I’ll actually have a good excuse for neglecting the gym workouts.

I know the button to turn on the correct responses is somewhere in me.

That may help me when racing. That is maybe it’ll help push myself to finish the half-marathon in less than 3hrs and 40min. I recognize that I may not then enjoy the walk itself. The thing is, I do want to enjoy the walk. So during this training, I’m going to have to work on enjoying the walk. Wonder how I do that?

I know that during the training one easy way to enjoy the walk is talking to the other participants. Everybody has a story. Some exciting, some boring, but something. And one of the participants said that she found one way to enjoy the walk is for a “treat” during the walk. She didn’t mean food or drink; she meant a beautiful plant, a songbird, or a beautiful vista.

Working on enjoyment of the journey – another task on the list. Changing your body is a lot easier than changing your mind.

The hard part – I’m thinking doing the uphill walking will be hard – begins the week I’m in Barcelona. Darn. I’ll try to do it on my own the weekend after I get back, and then do it with the group from then on. I’m also thinking that even if I missed one of these hard sessions, no biggie. What might be a little difficult while away is any big walks to keep my weekly mileage up. Again, I’ll do what I can, and not stress about it.

The training is given by The Running Room/The Walking Room. There are about 20 people in the group – all women. Some women have already done a half-marathon, or a full marathon. They’re doing the training again, well, for the training I suppose. We meet three times a week, and then are expected to do some walking on our own to make sure we get the mileage in that our coach has outlined for the week.

We were asked to set some goals for ourselves. I have two easy ones – at least easy to think of, that is. The first is to finish the half-marathon in 3 hours. The second is lose 20lbs by the end of the year. Easy to say – hard to do. I’m more confident in finishing the half-marathon in 3 hours, then in the weight loss. Maybe the former will help the latter. I hope so.

I know that I need to keep my activity level up, so committing to the training is important. Exercise seems to be the key for any weight loss for me, even more than the eating.

Got to go put my walking shoes on to begin week 2.

My China experience was everything I hoped for it to be. I saw China; I saw the places in China I wanted to see. I did the things in China I wanted to do. I left knowing where I would go back to on my next trip.

I could not have done this trip 112 lbs ago. No way. Not a chance. A couple of times, mind you, only a couple of times I saw women who looked like me more than 18 months ago. I knew exactly how they felt in their bodies, travelling in places where everybody is smaller, and where the Chinese are quite happy to stare and stare at you.

We did a lot of walking, and it was not a hardship. I ate what I wanted, when I wanted, without a second thought. I enjoyed Chinese food and the more than occasional ice cream or treat. It was all fine. I came back to a two pound weight loss. What could be better than that?

I thank S (& the kids) & M for the opportunity. Great travelling companions. A trip I will not forget.

I’m saying this so that you know I have credentials for the next bit.

Fat people don’t do everything they want to do. O.K., I know that many people don’t do everything they want to do, but for the fat person lots of the stuff we don’t do is because we physically cannot.

I tried to do things. I went to movies, the theatre, travelled a bit, and worked hard (no snickering, I did do that once upon a time). But I felt that I couldn’t do as much as I wanted because of my obesity. Public seating isn’t fat-friendly. People aren’t fat-friendly. I didn’t have the stamina to walk for any length of time to explore new places. Sure I could drive – and I did – but, some experiences need to be done closer than through a car window.

For a long time my dream was to visit the Far East. I’d tell myself “When I’m skinnier, then I’ll go.”

And when I got my lapband, began losing weight, and exercising more I started to think about this dream. I wondered if I’d get there “now.”

It’s “now”. Today I go to Beijing, Shenyang, Shanghai, and Hong Kong. I feel that I can physically meet the challenges. I can walk for extended periods. I can fit in the airplane seat. I can rest comfortably in smaller spaces.

Thanks SZ and MD for the opportunity. Thanks sis, for doing my work while I’m gone. Thanks bL for understanding and supporting my fervent desire to go.

See you in 24 days.