Fat Woman With A Band

I’ve already explained I’m continuing to work to reach my goal of losing another 25 pounds. It’s still going very, very, very slowly. So slowly as to be not moving at all.

I’m also trying to keep the activity level up. It’s difficult and I’m only doing “o.k.” at it. I’ll keep on trying.

As for being the boss of me – I’m paying more attention to making sure I get my needs met, my ideas heard, and doing what I want. Not easy as I have a long tradition of being a door mat, but I am finding ways to being more in charge of me.

And happily it’s already looking like a year where I’ll do even more travelling. First trip will be at the end of February to Orlando. I’m hopeful it’ll be with a couple of friends.

Then China in May. CHINA! Amazing. So out of my comfort zone. What’s helping is going with friends, as I’m not sure I’d go on my own. We’re just in the planning stages, but I’ve already got my ticket to Beijing. We want to work in Shanghai and Hong Kong. I hope that some of the travel will be by train. I get all happy flushed just thinking about it.

And we’ve also talked about London, Amsterdam, and Copenhagen for July.  I’m really eager to go back to London, and I’m loving the idea of touring Amsterdam and Copenhagen. They’ll be a few train trips in there, too.

And, of course, I want to go to New York again. Don’t know exactly when, and finances will be a huge factor on determining when and how I go. All I’m sure of at this point, is want to go again … and again … and again.

So, I’m even more serious about losing weight and keeping the activity level up. I don’t want to miss out on anything and I want to make sure I’m as healthy as I can be to get maximum enjoyment out of every moment on each trip.

In the last couple of days trying to find balance has been a challenge. And I’m not referring to balance around my eating or activity levels, but more around not obsessing around the darned graffiti.

I took brooke’s advice – she said “do something” about the graffiti. That is, vent in an appropriate way. So, I did. I wrote an e-mail to the local business improvement association and to the councillor. I did a bit of research on the ‘net to find out what the city and Police Service have to say. I talked about it with friends and family. Even at the Y this morning a member heard me talking about it with Jackie, and he said “get rid of it” – he’d had the same experience.

So after the Y this morning I got on the phone and started calling. The Police Service automated message about Graffiti Eradication says to get rid of it after reporting it. I did report it; two officers came out – one took my statement and another took photographs. They said the Police do keep track of the graffiti. If the vandal is caught doing the bad deed somewhere, they check their records to determine if they’ve done it somewhere else also. The attending officer also suggesting cleaning it up because it may help determine if it’s a “one-off” or someone with a vendetta – potentially against one of the business owners in the building. Presumably if it’s a vendetta, the vandal will come back and do it again.

I’ve called two graffiti removal companies for estimates. I will have to live with the unsightly mess until warmer weather as the removal can’t be done in freezing weather.

I also called the city as their website for the Graffiti Abatement Program says to call in to report it. But what they don’t make clear is that they only want a report if the graffiti is on city property. I told the operator their parking meter got tagged, but she didn’t seem to care about that. She did say I could lodge a complaint with Municipal Licensing and Standards, but to me that’s a route to follow if it’s someone else’s building you’re complaining about.

I do feel better. Actually, two other things helped too. The first was when I called the Police to report I had to listen to the automated message prompts regarding emergencies or personal injuries. Kinda made me think “thank goodness.” The other thing that worked was looking at the graffiti a bit more. It’s bad, yes. I didn’t ask for it, true. The words are stoopid – “DOA” and “ZINE” – true. But it’s paint, not fire, not a tree falling into the building, or a gas explosion.

And then this helped too. I put on jeans that I had bought a couple of months ago without trying them on first. I had made the assumption they would fit. But they were too tight. I’ve pulled them out of the back of the closet a couple of times since I bought them, but they’ve continued to be too tight. Until today! Yeah me!

So, even though the scales have been stubbornly stuck at pretty much the same number for the past 6-8 weeks, at least my body shape is shifting.

Good. Balance. Breathing.

If anger can make you lose weight then I’ve lost the 25 pounds I want to lose yesterday.

I woke up Saturday morning to graffiti on my front door, the garage door, and on the building. I was incensed. I’m still very angry.

This is not art, this is not cool, this is not urban, or urbane. It’s vandalism.

May the person or persons who did this rot in hell. ‘effin bastards.

2010′s motto is: “I’m the boss.”

That’s right, I AM the boss.

I AM in charge of what I do.
I AM in charge of what I consume.
I AM in charge of making things happen for me.
I AM in charge of my reaction to events.
I AM in charge of my weight loss.
I AM in charge of my exercise plan.
I AM in charge of my feelings.

I AM the boss of me.

I like the simple things.

I’m finding it hard to believe my first year with the band is over. Where did the time go? Vooooom … gone, gone, gone.

I’m also still peeved my weight has stagnated, stalled, stopped moving, hung, stuck, plateaued. Peeved. Frustrated. Pissed off.

BUT, I’m not giving up. My exercise plan is still ongoing. I’m still active. My clothes still fit. And I’m still feeling good.

And, of course, with a few end-of-year celebrations already under my belt (pun intended), and a few more to go in the next week, I’ll just keep my activity level up and not worry too much about what I’m consuming.

I plan on making my goal weight in year two, and to increase my fitness level through exercise while I’m doing that.

I’m looking forward to it.

Best of the season my happy readers, and hope you get want you need if you’re exchanging gifts and in the new year.

I think it will take a while for my brain to catch up with my body and realize it is not the quite the same size as it was. Here is what happened.

I was getting dressed one morning recently and had this thought: I wonder if my jeans will fit after I washed them. In the past it would be completely normal for me to gain so much weight between washings that a piece of clothing that would have fit a couple of weeks ago would not fit now.

I was noticeably relieved when my jeans did fit this week. But why wouldn`t they, for goodness sake! I haven`t been overeating, and I`ve continued with my exercise and activities.

And about exercise … I went for an almost three hour walk yesterday. I only stopped because I was bored and wanted to do other things, not because I was exhausted. I loved figuring that out.

One final happy thing. I`ve been able to shop at lots of sales, and yesterday I bought a few pieces of clothing for $10 each. I would never, ever, ever been able to do that in the past.  The sizes were all over the place – L, M, and size 14 – but still happy making.

It’s been one year since I was banded.

I’m pleased with my weight loss and my health improvements.

I’m pleased with being able to by clothes in “regular” stores.

I’m pleased with my increased level of activity.

I’m confident I can continue and meet my goal.

Yeah me!

First, apologies for forgetting to publish last week. I did write the blog and then forgot to push the “publish” button. Oops.

So, it’s another week with no movement at all on that darn rascally scale. I know that I’ve been lifting weights at the Y and that means I’m building muscle and muscle weighs more … blah, blah, blah. But even knowing that, I still want the the scale to move.

I think going back to the beginning will help me. That is, keeping a food diary, being more vigilant with quantity and quality. Making sure I’m getting the right protein-carb-fat-etc. ratio.

The problem is doing that work. So, my strategy is to make an appointment with a nutritionist at the clinic. I’m pretty sure they’ll ask me for a food diary before I see them. And as much as I don’t want to do that – I really, really, really don’t want to – that’ll get me thinking about my nutrition intake in a better way.

So, tomorrow I’m calling the nutritionist – there it’s in writing … I’m doing it.

Oh, and about the Y. I’m liking it. I was sure I’d be o.k. with it, but I’m actually liking it. I hope I can keep it up as it is a bit of a bother. I’m keeping my eyes on my goal … gotta go, gotta go, gotta go go go!

I definitely have a love/hate relationship with that darn scale. I haven’t lost any weight in way too long.

On the other hand I admit that I had to buy smaller pants, and I do feel pretty darn good. Jackie says not to focus on the weight loss, but rather on the inches lost. And I suppose that’s especially important currently as I’m doing more exercises moving weight around, and not just my own.

It’s just effin’ frustrating.

I had a great time in NYC. Walked and walked and walked. Ate. Saw a couple of plays. Just enjoyed being there. I didn’t worry about the food. By that I mean I didn’t worry about whether I was eating too much or not enough of the right stuff. I just ate what I wanted, and I didn’t feel I made too many bad choices. I definitely didn’t eat in the same volume as I would have in the past.

I’m coming up to my one-year anniversary of getting the band installed. I had hoped to lose 100 pounds in the first year and I’ve done that. So there. Be happy with that I say to myself. But, darn it all … I want more!

Patience.

I’ve been pondering what to do next, that is what to do when I’ve reached my goal weight with this exercise regimen. I need to think about what kind of exercise I’ll do to help keep my weight in check, and not be “soul-sucking” using Jackie’s words.

I’ve been pondering doing a half-marathon walk. I know I can do the walk, but whether I can do it in a quasi-competitive way is another thing. Also, I wonder how you train for that, and then which marathon would I do? I think I’ll percolate on this for a bit. One of my first thoughts about this is that I’d need to train by walking – no duh! – but winter is just about to begin for us and I seriously dislilke winter weather and walking on the icy, snowy, slushy, yucky streets. Treadmill? That kinda invokes the soul-sucking analogy for me.

Anyway, as I say, I’ll percolate on this for a bit.

The weight loss is trickling along, just about what’s to be expected. I have about 29 pounds to go ’til goal. I really hope that it won’t take 29 weeks to do that, but it’s feeling like it might. Now THAT feels soul-sucking.

Carrying on.