Fat Woman With A Band

Last week was a write-off. I was mildly depressed – is there such a thing? – and couldn’t get motivated to exercise at the level I need to keep my weight loss moving. I did some light activities – walking and rowing – and tried to keep my eating under control. I think there were two reasons for how I felt.

I had gum surgery the week before last and took antibiotics for a week afterwards to stave off infection. It’s been a while since I’ve taken antibiotics and I wonder whether these pills affected my mood. Maybe. Maybe not. Taking the meds was definitely something different in my daily routine, and therefore could have been a source of my change in mood.

I was also feeling too regimented with my exercise routine. Jackie was right-on when she said I need to have – well, let’s put it this way, an assertive exercise routine if I want to have results. But, I also felt a little physically burned out from the three-a-week schedule and the three aquafits and the one bodyflow and the walking and the rowing, etc.

So last week I had one session with Jackie on Monday, missed Wednesday, and had a very abbreviated session on Friday. I also completely missed aquafit.

I’m happy to report that by Friday afternoon I was definitely feeling the cloud lifting from my head, and today I’m feeling pretty fine. Knock wood.

I’m ready to do week six, the final week in this set. Then I’ll have two weeks away – I’ll do one week on my own at the gym, and I’m considering what to do while I’m in Disneyworld the last week of February.

I should also comment on the diet. Not only was I tired of the exercise regimen, I was getting tired of the food, too. I had to change up my breakfast meal without losing out on the huge boost in fibre I get from it. I think I did that successfully. I could have done better on meal planning, but I didn’t feel too out of control. I am going to make a concerted effort this week to cut back on my soy milk intake; it feels like I’m drinking my calories, rather than chewing them.

Saying I’m recharged is an overstatement. I am on track.

I’m finding it hard to believe my first year with the band is over. Where did the time go? Vooooom … gone, gone, gone.

I’m also still peeved my weight has stagnated, stalled, stopped moving, hung, stuck, plateaued. Peeved. Frustrated. Pissed off.

BUT, I’m not giving up. My exercise plan is still ongoing. I’m still active. My clothes still fit. And I’m still feeling good.

And, of course, with a few end-of-year celebrations already under my belt (pun intended), and a few more to go in the next week, I’ll just keep my activity level up and not worry too much about what I’m consuming.

I plan on making my goal weight in year two, and to increase my fitness level through exercise while I’m doing that.

I’m looking forward to it.

Best of the season my happy readers, and hope you get want you need if you’re exchanging gifts and in the new year.

It’s been one year since I was banded.

I’m pleased with my weight loss and my health improvements.

I’m pleased with being able to by clothes in “regular” stores.

I’m pleased with my increased level of activity.

I’m confident I can continue and meet my goal.

Yeah me!

I definitely have a love/hate relationship with that darn scale. I haven’t lost any weight in way too long.

On the other hand I admit that I had to buy smaller pants, and I do feel pretty darn good. Jackie says not to focus on the weight loss, but rather on the inches lost. And I suppose that’s especially important currently as I’m doing more exercises moving weight around, and not just my own.

It’s just effin’ frustrating.

I had a great time in NYC. Walked and walked and walked. Ate. Saw a couple of plays. Just enjoyed being there. I didn’t worry about the food. By that I mean I didn’t worry about whether I was eating too much or not enough of the right stuff. I just ate what I wanted, and I didn’t feel I made too many bad choices. I definitely didn’t eat in the same volume as I would have in the past.

I’m coming up to my one-year anniversary of getting the band installed. I had hoped to lose 100 pounds in the first year and I’ve done that. So there. Be happy with that I say to myself. But, darn it all … I want more!

Patience.

I’ve been pondering what to do next, that is what to do when I’ve reached my goal weight with this exercise regimen. I need to think about what kind of exercise I’ll do to help keep my weight in check, and not be “soul-sucking” using Jackie’s words.

I’ve been pondering doing a half-marathon walk. I know I can do the walk, but whether I can do it in a quasi-competitive way is another thing. Also, I wonder how you train for that, and then which marathon would I do? I think I’ll percolate on this for a bit. One of my first thoughts about this is that I’d need to train by walking – no duh! – but winter is just about to begin for us and I seriously dislilke winter weather and walking on the icy, snowy, slushy, yucky streets. Treadmill? That kinda invokes the soul-sucking analogy for me.

Anyway, as I say, I’ll percolate on this for a bit.

The weight loss is trickling along, just about what’s to be expected. I have about 29 pounds to go ’til goal. I really hope that it won’t take 29 weeks to do that, but it’s feeling like it might. Now THAT feels soul-sucking.

Carrying on.

When I think about comfort food I often think first of food my mother cooked on Sunday mornings for Sunday lunch. My parents were Hungarian so the food we had at home was Hungarian.

So when I visit my relatives in Budapest I look forward to a lot of home cooking. And they never disappoint. My aunt, a cousin, and a cousin’s daughter-in-law are all great cooks. I don’t crave fancy meals, just everyday cooking. My cousin likes to prepare more elaborate meals, but there’s always an “everyday” course even there.

I’m quite satisfied that I had pretty much all the food that I wanted with two small exceptions. I had fried chicken, chicken soup, dumplings, and fish meals. All y-u-m-m-y. I had a couple pieces of pastry, and some Hungarian crepes.  I didn’t get to langos, which is a fried bread dough that can be enjoyed savory or sweet. And I didn’t have any strudel.

My relatives were very helpful in that they asked me what I could eat – to which I answered EVERYTHING. I was also very conscious that I was being observed for signs of, well I don’t know why exactly but I think they weren’t sure in the first few days that I wouldn’t start gagging at every meal. When they realized the lapband wasn’t a thing to worry about, they all relaxed.

I didn’t do as much exercise as I wanted to, but I did the best I could. I had two good walking days, and one so-so walking day. Jackie gave me an exercise routine to do in my hotel room which I did every second day. And my room was on the seventh floor so I took the stairs up and down at least once a day, and sometimes twice.

I had only one day that was uncharacteristically hungry and that was the day coming home. I ate every single bit of airline food available, and happily it was relatively plentiful. Breakfast, lunch, one small salty snack, and one heated veggie snack.

If I have one complaint it’s this – I had a lot of problems staying regular, and I’m still in that place. I don’t know what exactly is going wrong, and I’m going to concentrate on fibre, veggies and fruit this week to see if I can get back to normal.

So, in the end I lost weight. Not a lot, but enough to have reached my second last milestone – I am now overweight. My BMI says I am no longer obese.

I have 30 pounds to go to goal. It still feels a long, long way away.

No weight change in two weeks.

Very, very, very frustrating.

I’m this close to losing 100 pounds and the darned scale won’t co-operate.

What to do? What to do?

The old me would have sat down for a few bad noshes. The new me? I’ve kept exercising, and kept watching what I eat.

Something has got to give. Got to.

Jackie suggested more fruit and fibre. She’s right. I’m going grocery shopping now.

And I know before you say it … not the kind of fruit or fibre as in Finnish Christmas Star pastries. But they do look yummy, don’t they?

Grrr.

Did I tell you my project plan? No? Really?

I’m not surprised. I didn’t really have one articulated in my head. Other than losing weight I haven’t told many people how much I want to lose. And though I’m not quite ready to tell everyone how much I weigh right now, I can share this.

I want to lose 134 lbs. That’ll get me to a “normal” BMI for my height. To get to this goal I have three more milestones.

1. The next milestone to reach is to have lost 100 lbs. I’m 4.6 lbs away.
2. The milestone after that is to reach a BMI that says I’m overweight, not obese. I’m less than 2 points away from that.
3. The final milestone is really the goal – a loss of 134 lbs from my weight in November 2008.

I’m projecting reaching my goal sometime in March 2010. Thinking about my weight loss as a project plan, i.e., using the milestone terminology, helps me keep my eye on the prize.

Those words used to make me very uncomfortable. Not because I was scared of flying, but because I couldn’t do up my seat belt without a great deal of discomfort. A couple of times I flew without doing up the seat belt, and a couple of times I had to ask for an extender.

This time not only could I do the seat belt up easily, there was room to spare. I also had lots of room in the seat. Moreover, the tray table came down easily and there was plenty of room between me and it.

It was a glorious experience. One of the best non scale victories I’ve experienced so far. I’m looking forward to more.

I may not be the energizer bunny. I do, however, have a lot more energy. I notice that I can walk longer before I feel tired, and even longer before I feel tired enough to rest. Also, my recovery time is decreased, and I can keep going a bit longer. As with the weight loss, I have a long way to go improving my physical stamina, and I’m pleased that I can feel the progress.

I’ve also signed up with a personal trainer to work two days a week beginning July 6. I feel that as my weight loss slows down strictly through eating less, I’ll have to increase my activity level to ensure my weight loss continues.

In the last week on two occasions I didn’t get to eating lunch. I got busy doing stuff, and didn’t work a meal break into my plan. I didn’t feel hungry, which was unusual, but my energy didn’t seem to wane either. It’s not a good thing to miss eating, I know, and that’s definitely not something I want to do frequently. I’m glad I could deal with it appropriately, as I didn’t overindulge at dinner time, just ate the right amount.

June seems to be a month full of eating challenges. Lots of birthdays, lots of special occasion gatherings, and happily a bit of travel. I feel equipped to get through it, and I’m not going to be hard on myself. I want to enjoy the social experiences, and not worry about the effect on my weight loss goals. I’ll happily indulge by tasting even those foods usually not on diet menus, e.g., birthday cake.

I’m coming up to my six month anniversary with the band, I feel in a good spot, and I’m feeling my goal is achievable.