Fat Woman With A Band

Photo by Beth Dannunzio

When one loses weight there’s more than just the joy of seeing the numbers on the scale get ever smaller, there’s also the “non-scale victories.” These victories are a direct result of weight loss. Things like fitting into smaller clothes, or sleeping better, or having less joint pain. Each of these is true for me.

But there are other things, too. Here are three examples.

1. I attend aquafit at the Y at least three times a week. I use the ladder in the deep end of the pool to get out at the end of the class. I used to climb the ladder one rung a time, that is go up a rung with one foot, pause, bring my other leg up to that rung, and then continue to the next. I can now go up the ladder one rung after another without pausing. The pause was about joint pain, and not having the strength to heave myself up and out of the water. Less joint pain, more strength, and less of a body to heave. Yeah!
2. My basement stairs are covered by a trap door. To get in and out requires some agility as it’s an awkward to climb in, and equally awkard to climb out. Last week I had to go into the basement with a service person. It’s been at least a year since I tried to go down myself – the last few times my sister did the climbing for me when I needed a stored suitcase. I didn’t really think about the climb in, but I was concerned about the climb out. It also requires some agility and some strength. I didn’t want to embarrass myself in front of the service person. But in the end, I just did it. No problem. Yeah, again!
3. I have a big cushion I wear on my behind. You might even call it a fat-ass. Well my ass has been shrinking a bit, along with my other bits. One way I’ve noticed this is I now sit lower in my car seat, and I’ve had to adjust the rearview mirror. I also fit better in my seat. Yeah!

I’ll share more as I experience them. I wonder if my shoe size will get smaller?

5th Avenue Snacks by Laram777

I have returned from my first vacation with a laparoscopic band. I’m very pleased with how it all went, and not just the eating part.

I went to New York City where I was surrounded by food. There are street vendor carts everywhere selling food I’d happily quaff. You’ve got your pretzels, your nuts, your middle eastern food, and your hot dogs. Then there’s the coffee, the bagels, and the pastries. All that before you get inside.

What I was really happy to see is that many places had calorie listings for their food, especially the fast food or lunch places. All the chain burger joints listed calories on their signs, but even Pret a Manger, Au Bon Pain, Starbucks, Europa Cafe, and others had food listed with calories. Amazing! I know calories aren’t the be-all and end-all of eating smart, but it’s a good start. I found it really helpful.

Now having said that, I didn’t have any really great meals. I had two good meals, and all the others were not memorable. I started each day with oatmeal with fruit. Definitely a larger portion than at home – no excuses.

I had one vegetarian meal in Greenwich Village that was tasty, similar to the quality of food at Fresh or Big Carrot. The other meal was chicken, brown rice, and a salad combination at Au Bon Pain. Very good.

In previous trips I would have eaten deli – I stayed just down the street from Carnegie, Stage, and Ben Ash delis – pasta, asian, and more fried foods. I didn’t do any of that this time. Did I miss it? Yes, a bit. But not enough that I actually went and had any of it.

So, I think I could have done a little better making my food choices, but I’m still happy with what I did. What I’m most proud of though are the non-scale victories. And there are a few.

Beginning with the airplane ride. Simply put, I could do up my seat belt. And I could put the tray table down all the way. You have no idea how big a deal that is. No idea. These two simple things made me very happy. Very.

In NYC you can do a lot of walking; I did as much as I could. For the most part I felt fine. I had enough energy, and my joints didn’t ache too much. The only time I felt physically challenged was at MOMA; strolling and standing as you do in a museum is uncomfortable to the point of painful for me. At least this showed I still have lots of work to do, and I have to work more on loosening up my IT band and bum muscles. If it isn’t one band, it’s the other.

The trip was a good test for me, and I’m proud of how I navigated my way with the band.

Do it when you’re ready and not a moment before.

What’s “it”? Pretty much anything, really. My “it” is all about weight loss. Here’s how the timing worked for me, and the process I took to lapband surgery.

1. I was feeling very unhealthy, again, and I knew I had to do something about it, again. But, I was having a very hard time getting motivated. I had been looking at weight loss surgery alternatives, but just couldn’t convince myself to do more than read about it.
2. A friend has a friend who had lapband surgery, and was very successful losing weight. My interest goes up a notch.
3. I do some research on the procedure and can find lots of positive information about it, and not much negative. Interest is definitely climbing.
4. I make an appointment at Slimband (then called TLBC), and even though it’s a marketing blurb, my interest continues at a high level. I give myself a deadline to make a decision in the vein of “shit or get off the pot.”
5. It’s the end of the year – a time to think about how the year went, and how next year could be better. What could be better than getting healthy?
6. I sign-up for surgery.

So, the tipping point (aren’t I fashionable?) was researching weight loss surgeries and then finding a person who has undergone the procedure with good results.

So I’ve changed my eating habits substantially since surgery 13 weeks ago. More fibre, more fruit, more veggies, and less bread, pasta, and fried foods. I roast or steam my vegetables, have roasted chicken or turkey, and much more vegetarian or soy products. Lots of water, and no soft drinks. Tea more often than coffee, but usually only one cup of either each day. I think I’m doing pretty darn good. But …

I’m bored of my own cooking. If a make a batch of stuff, I eat it almost everyday until it’s all gone. I never think to freeze the portions – I’m going to have to work on that. So, it’s very good timing for me than I’m off to NYC next week. Not only is it one of my favourite cities, but it has lots of food choices.

I’m not going to “fall off the wagon”, just make the best choices I can without making myself crazy or worry about whether I’m eating too much, or not the right things.

The change will do me good. Then when I get back I’ll be able to get back into my kitchen and start cooking again.

island

All alone by notsogoodphotography

I get so much out of being with friends and loved ones. Yet when I’m in trouble, usually emotionally and sometimes even physically I tend to withdraw. There’s probably some psychological reason for that – maybe one of you can enlighten me – and though I know I can almost always feel better after talking, I still withdraw.

I attended a support group at the clinic this week and I was reminded yet again how the happiness hormones kick in after just talking and interacting with others. I wasn’t in a particular bad headspace before the meeting, just having an average day. At the meeting I met eight women who were in different stages after lapband surgery. I knew one woman as we are attending the same nutrition class, but I had never met any of the others, or the facilitator.

Obviously we had a few similarities:

• female
• overweight
• had laparoscopic band surgery
• had lost weight
• had been overweight a long time.

All the other women had children, and by coincidence three of the women were nurses.

The facilitator led the discussion, and most of the women shared their experiences – how they felt, what worked for them, etc.  And even though we ranged in age from early thirties to late sixties (a guess as no one asked about ages and I’m really bad at guessing age), we each had similar experiences and feelings around being overweight and living with the band.

The topic which had the most diverse opinions and experiences was “who had we told we were banded.” Many of the participants had told only the closest family. I, of course, have told just about everyone. Though I’m being a bit disingenuous as I’ve told only those people who, as the nutritionist says, “are interest-ready.” I think as I lose more weight more people will ask what’s going on, and I may share even more then.

I’m going to come looking for you the next time I feel stranded.

My breath smells like shit.

Really, I’m so sorry. If I could fix it, I would immediately. I’m working on it, but it’ll take some time. Longer than I’d like, and probably much longer than you’d like.

I asked for professional advice, and I’m going to follow it. I’ve got four, five, maybe even six different things I’m doing to help combat it.

It’s just, well you know, when you’re losing weight it’s one of the unfortunate side effects. And I’m pretty sure I’ve always been prone to it – maybe because I’ve been fat for so long, or maybe it’s just me.

I’m doing what I can about keeping my teeth clean – flossing,  brushing, and regular checkups. I don’t think it’s because I’ve got tooth decay or gum disease. I think it’s all digestion, or maybe lack of digestion, related.

I think it’s undigested food that just doesn’t move out of my body fast enough. The food sticks in my digestive tract, and I exhaust the smell of it. Phew! Yucky!

So, here’s what I’m doing:

1. In the lemon and hot water drink I have each morning, I’m adding a tablespoon of bran.
2. After I brush my teeth I’m rinsing with a chlorophyll & water mixture rather than conventional alcohol-based mouth wash.
3. I’m taking a digestive enzyme supplement.
4. I’m chewing on chlorophyll laced gum between meals – when I can stand it, as I’m not a gum chewer.
5. I’m keeping an eye on my fiber intake. The more, the merrier.

I’m going to try one more thing, and that’s brushing my tongue.

Oops, gotta put that on my shopping list. New toothbrush.

The less I eat the more energy I have, which you would think is the opposite of what should happen. You would think the fewer calories, the less fuel you have to consume, and the less energy you’ll derive from that fuel. That’s not the case for me.

And my issue isn’t that I have more energy, it’s that I’m not able to focus the energy. For the last week or so, I can’t do anything for any period of time. I get impatient, lose interest, and want to move on.  It’s a struggle to make myself do the tasks I need to do. With my tranquilizer dosage decreased – by eating small quantities of healthy foods – I’m tense and agitated.

I wonder how long it takes for the body and mind to adjust to fewer calories, and to more nutritious food. I suppose that if I were the average dieter, I’d probably abandon the diet right about now. I’ve lost a little. Fit into clothes I hadn’t been able to for a while. Got more energy. Yippee! Let’s eat!

I won’t though for two, maybe three reasons. The first is the lapband. Eating the same quantities of food as I did two months ago would cause physical discomfort, maybe even pain. The second reason is that I WANT to lose more weight. And, I think that how I feel currently, will pass. I just need to be patient.

This is me being patient. Shit.

One of the threads on the lapbandtalk site is NSV, or Non-Scale Victories. These victories are those that come about because you’re losing weight, and are related to weight loss, but not specifically THE weight loss.

Examples:

• fitting into clothes that you’d outgrown
• reducing medications
• compliments from family, friends, or strangers
• more energy.

And that last one is the biggie for me. When I’m medicating myself with food, I never notice a surfeit of energy, because I’ve used it all up with gluttony. When I eat with moderation, I have a huge jump in energy.

I also notice a bit of on increase in the inability to concentrate. I’ve got about four books on the go, and I just can’t seem to sit  still long enough with any of them to complete them.

I’ve also just about completed the first week with a fill. Thankful, in the last few days I haven’t had any problems related to eating too fast. I now have to figure out if I need another fill, or if this is the correct amount. I’m going to make a concerted effort to monitor how quickly I get hungry after eating. I am pretty sure, though, that I can comfortably eat more than one cup worth’s of food at one meal. Hmm … maybe I’ve answered the question – I think I’ll need another fill.

I’ve increased my rowing time by five minutes per day in the last couple of days. I’ll increase it gradually until I get to 30 minutes a day, and then stick to that.

Maybe cross-country skiing is next? Uh, no. No it’s not. But maybe some mall walking – that sounds warmer.

Pretty much all I’ve been doing is not eating.

That is an exaggeration, of course. Let’s say I’m being very careful. And it’s been difficult.

After I eat I do feel a bit of pressure. Not the uncomfortable feeling one has after overeating. It’s more like a hard knot in my stomach. I’m don’t experience an level of pain with it – it’s just “there.”

I’ve also started rowing. The instructions that come with the rower suggest starting off slowly at 10 minutes a day, and gradually increasing the time week over week. It’s felt very good to row.

The chatter on the lapbandtalk site has similar comments from the people who were banded on the same day – hunger, a bit of increase in burping, and optimism about the future. I am looking forward to the next 12 months.

On the lapbandtalk site many people have as part of their signature a little horizontal graph showing how much they want to lose and how much they’ve lost to date. I admit that I often pay more attention to this graph then to the content of the posting. I look for people who say they are planning on losing the same amount of weight as I want to lose. Then I look to see when they started to lose weight. I then apply this arithmetic to me.

I think “How much will I have lost by March?” “By the summer?” “In 12 months?” I know I’m obsessing. I think once I really start into it, I’ll be able to relax a bit.

So, what do I mean by start into it? I mean when I feel a restriction after eating, and I don’t feel hungry all day. Oh, of course when I’ve ramped up my exercise regimen. I think by the end of January I’ll be in a good place.

My plan? Do what I need to do to lose weight. And along the way work on a way to make healthy living a habit for a lifetime.

I’ve been through the four days of clear liquid, and the seven days of full fluid (creamed soup, protein drink, yogurt). This morning I begin seven days of mushy food. That’s food basically the consistency of baby food. Actually, the guidelines even suggest organic baby food as a meal.

I started off with a bowl of organic oatmeal and flax. It was delightful, thank-you.

I just finished as you can see. I’m interested to determine if it helps me feel full or sated. I’ve felt very hungry the last few days.

The bandages have all gone, and the bruise is definitely not as angry. My stomach is a little bit bumpy near the port, and I hope that goes away. It makes it a bit uncomfortable sleeping. The incisions look pretty good, too.

I’ve also regained a lot of my energy and I feel like doing more things. Unfortunately, my dislike of winter weather mitigates that a bit. Anyway, I’ll deal with it.

I’ve been working on visualizing as a technique to keep me motivated. A bit more than visualizing actually; not just thinking of me doing something, but also about how I’ll feel in my body doing that activity. I do remember what it feels like to complete a challenging physical activity, and I’m trying to recapture that feeling in my thoughts. At this point what I find physically challenging maybe totally pedestrian to most. I know I have to start somewhere.

I also remember what it felt like in my body when I wore clothes in a much smaller size. I’m trying to focus on that feeling, also.

I’m not focussing on how much weight I’ve lost. I’m sure I get weighed at the clinic on January 12th, when I go for my first fill. And whatever it is, it is.

Off I go to do a food bank donation.

First, I had my surgery two days ago. And, I’m pleased to report it went very well. Today I have a bit of cramping from the gas that is still rolling around in my innards, but I feel good.

Second, to help me reach my goal I need to do these things:

1. Decide on a goal
2. Decide on the activities need to reach my goal
3. Work on the activities

My goal is to lose 100lbs by December 13, 2009.

To reach my goal, I will eat less and move more. The lapband will help me with the eat loss goal, as it will help me monitor my intake.

As for moving more, I’m going back to the “Y” in January, beginning with aqua-fit. As the weather warms and I become more fit, I’ll start incorporating more walking into my routine.

And, overarching these items is working on my brain. Getting my brain rewired so that the eat less/move more (ELMM) is just as natural to me as breathing.

I think the rewiring part will be as difficult as ELMM. And perhaps more exciting.