Fat Woman With A Band

I’m losing weight, not my sense of humour.

A friend sent me this diet today. It’s making the rounds through e-mail.

This is a specially formulated diet designed to help women cope with the stress that builds during the day.

Stress Diet

Breakfast
1 grapefruit
1 slice whole wheat toast
1 cup skim milk

Lunch
1 small portion lean, steamed chicken
1 cup spinach
1 cup herbal tea
1 Hershey’s kiss

Afternoon Tea
The rest of the Hershey Kisses in the bag
1 tub of Hagen-Daaz ice cream with chocolate chips

Dinner
4 glasses of wine (red or white)
2 loaves garlic bread
1 family size supreme pizza
3 Snickers Bars

Late Night Snack
1 whole Sarah Lee cheesecake (eaten directly from the freezer)

Sound familiar? I’d probably have more crunchy and salty stuff on the Stress Diet. I wonder if there are any substitutions allowed?

Dr. Oz says there are three things that important to a good and healthy life.

1. Exercise – do something physical everyday.
2. Eat food as close to the way it was grown as possible – reduce the amount of processed food you eat.
3. Have a purpose – doing something important to you. The popular phrase is: what is your passion?

My girlfriend quickly added the fourth thing for a good and healthy life:

4. Have good people around you – family and friends to support you.

He’s right, and she’s right.

Getting these four things into your life isn’t easy. If they were easy, we wouldn’t need to talk about them. Everybody would just naturally do them.

And then, of course, once you have them in your life, life is easy. Hmm. Maybe not easy, just easier.

I think I experienced some of this on Saturday night. It was my girlfriend’s annual year-end gathering. It was all about the friends and the food. I couldn’t have any of the food because of my pre-op diet, but I could enjoy the company. And I did, a great deal.

I was going to say that not having any my favourite foods was difficult, but you know after the first little while it really wasn’t. I concentrated on talking to people, and taking photos. The night passed pleasantly, with the curious aspect of having a lot of conversations about food. I never grabbed the cheese tray and waddled out the front door yelling “It’s mine! All mine!”

I hope that I can concentrate on my four things in the next while, and that the losing weight portion will be a pleasant, engaging experience.

Finally, I’m reading another great book, The 4-Day Win, by Martha Beck. I’ll give a short review of it in another blog. She has an interesting angle on the eat less/move more diet thing. I’m liking what I’ve read so far.

The Amazing Adventures of Dietgirl, Shauna Reid

Half-Assed, Jennette Fulda

Passing for Thin, Frances Kuffel

I have to surround myself with items and people that will help me do this. These three books, in different ways, are just the ticket.

What they all have in common is good to pretty good writing. Funny anecdotes. Lots of “me, too” moments.

Also, I feel there’s lots of anger. Perhaps a bit more in Jennette’s memoir, than the others. Anger at themselves, anger at not being noticed or taken seriously.

None of these women had weight-loss surgery. Shauna changed her diet with the help of a couple of national programs, and then figured out what she needed to do for herself. Jennette pointedly refuses to discuss her method of changing her food habits because she views it as a personal decision. Frances joined a self-help group and consumed vast quantities of vegetables.

Each one incorporated a great deal of exercise into their lives. Each expressed joy at discovering they liked the exercise. I’m rolling that thought around a bit: joy in exercise. I hope I find that joy.

Both Shauna and Jennette’s websites are terrific resources for help on weight-loss.

Each woman lost a lot of weight – half their weight. Each also had bumps in the road. That is, they didn’t start their weight loss and then continue losing steadily until the point at which they started writing their book. Each had some periods where they regained weight, grabbed hold, and then started losing again. I think this is the part I found most heartening. It made their stories real for me, not a fairy tale.

Three things I learned:

1. eat healthy
2. move more
3. “it” is in your head

I’ve have not yet managed to work on healthy eating and moving more for longer than six months. In order for me to make a successful change, I’ll need to get my head working for me so that it’ll be a forever-commitment.

As a good friend says: “Focus!”

I’m gonna.

Cue 86-piece orchestra, with a large percussion section, and play the big music.

Started the pre-op deprivation diet today. I know. I know. It’s all in how you frame it. At this very moment, I’m feeling deprived, and the endpoint is so far away, that I can’t think of it clearly.

Grrrr.

O.K., I’ll stop. That’s it. No more feeling sorry for myself. Done and done.

I’ve been doing a lot of reading about dieting, finding the descriptions of experiences that will help me. Lots and lots to read about. Some written by people “just like me”, and some sponsored by medical organizations.

I’ve added a couple of more sites to my blogroll, to give you an idea of what’s available. Elastic Waist has some very funny videos. And Weight Matters is authored by an Ottawa doctor specializing in bariatric topics.

I’ve ordered a couple of books written by women after their successful weight loss. I’ll post reviews as soon as I’ve read them. Wonder why it seems as if it’s only women who talk about weight loss? Usually, if you see or read about a man’s weight loss, it’s associated with an athletic achievement. Gender roles appear even in weight loss stories.

On the bright side, tomorrow is two. Oh, and I can drink coffee or tea. See? It’s all in how your frame it.

And a big shout out to canadiangirl who had her surgery on Nov 20th. I’m happy to report she’s doing well. Go, canadiangirl!

3 days left on my usual food regimen:

1. Thank goodness. I feel like “The Woman Who Ate Toronto.”
2. Oh, no! I really don’t like feeling restricted. I definitely have to work on that idea.
3. I’m ready. Really, really ready.

3 things I want out of this change in my life plan:

1. Achieve a BMI in the normal range.
2. Be physically active every day.
3. Eliminate all prescription medications.

3 things I’m looking forward to:

1. Sleeping restfully.
2. Fitting in any chair, anywhere.
3. Feeling in control.

Didn’t Dorothy tap her heels three times to get home? I’m tapping my heels, too.

And Toto is so cute, too.

That’s the song that plays when my phone rings.

It’s also what I’m doing as I think about what my life is going to be like in the next little while.

First, a pre-op diet to help lose the fat around my liver.

Then, surgery.

Followed by recovery, and diet restrictions to help ensure the band gets settled on my stomach.

And then, THEN the serious part begins. The band will allow for about 250ml of food per meal. The average person’s stomach can hold 1 to 1 1/2 litres of food – not that you’d necessarily eat that volume. Unless, of course you don’t have a “turn off” switch and you just keep consuming. Come to think of it, I might resemble that remark.

I recognize there’s a few yucky things that go along with weight-loss surgery, like surgery for example. And, maybe the productive burping (I’ll tell you about that when it happens). But, I’m focusing on the bright side.

For example, I love the titles of these books: Passing for Thin: Losing Half My Weight and Finding My Self, by Frances Kuffel, The Amazing Adventures of Dietgirl, by Shauna Reid, and Halfassed: A Weight-loss Memoir, by Jennette Fulda.

There’s also great blogs and websites to read about how other people are losing weight, and maintaining it. I’ll add some of them to my blogroll soon.

I’m just creating my bag of tricks, putting together all the tools that will help me reach my goal. Writing this, reading the books and the blogs.

This is what Oprah said to a guest on one of her shows celebrating big weight loss. The guest was talking about how they had tried everything to lose weight. Oprah said, and I’m paraphrasing, “You didn’t try everything.” Her belief is that there is a way to lose weight for every single person who wants to lose weight. You have to just keep trying.

I’m trying.

I hope for a lot of things. Just like the quintessential beauty pageant contestant, I hope for world peace. I hope hungry children throughout the world don’t spend another minute hungry. I hope the cooling world economy warms up soon.

So, you get it, right? Hoping for something won’t make it happen. With these big picture issues, I can do something in my own way. Like donate to Unicef, or Save the Children. I can keep up on business news, and determine how it affects me and my own resources. I can support government policies that advance world peace, and disagree publicly with those that don’t.

I hope surgery will go well. I hope my recovery is uneventful. I hope I can follow the diet guidelines. I hope I’ll lose weight

Great. Big deal.

I plan to do my due diligence regarding the effectiveness of the program, and the surgeon’s ability.

I plan to follow the post-op guidelines, including liquid and semi-liquid guidelines.

If I work the plan, I’ll have set myself up perfectly to get maximum use from my lapband.

And, then I’m planning on making use of any services that will help me reach my weight loss goal.

So, I’m not hoping for success. I’m working a plan for success.

I’ve been on lots of courses, seminars, conferences, and workshops. Very few standout in my memory. I’m usually very pleased if I can take away at least one thing from the day. I attended the pre-op talk at the clinic last night, and took away this one sentence “I am number one.”

The talk was facilitated by one of the clinic’s nutritionists. She reminded us that we’re paying a lot of money for this surgery. And with this action we’re saying we’re very important, and what we’re doing is very important.

Exactly.

There was also lots of talk around reinforcing the need to do the pre-op diet, and the immediate post-op diet. The pre-op diet is reduce the amount of fat around the liver, making it easier for the surgeon to insert the laparoscopic band. The post-op diet is to allow your stomach get used to the lapband; it’s not necessarily to lose weight.

She also told us that the lapband provides 50% of the effort required to lose weight in this program. Each of us provides the other 50%. We need to follow the recommended food guidelines; we need to start moving more; we need to participate in group sessions.

Five weeks after surgery, we get our first fill of the lapband. Then two more fills at two week intervals. The nutritionist said that each person’s requirements for the amount of fill is different. Some people may need more of a fill, and some less. No amount is too much, or not enough. Whatever works for you is the correct amount.

I’ll write about the first five weeks of food next. Did I say food? More like liquid, and mushy stuff for a little bit. Yummy!

Last week was the week for making decisions.

Get laparoscopic band surgery. Scheduled for December 11. Check.

Get a domain. You found it. Check.

Get quotes on building a website. Mulling over quotes. Using a free template in the meantime. Check.

This week there are three things to do.

1. Read the information from the clinic regarding the procedure, and diet.
2. Get blood tests and ECG.
3. Attend a Pre-op seminar at the clinic.

In the immortal words of Lao Tzu’s brother – you gotta start somewhere. Of course, Lao Tzu said it a bit better “A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.”

So I’m taking teeny, tiny baby steps. What needs to be done now? For me right now, it’s these three items. I know I can do them. And when I’ve done these, I’ll make a list of the next items to be done.

And at the same time I’m keeping my eyes on the prize. Physical health and vigor.

I want it to be easy to get to my goal. I know it won’t be. But if I can make each step manageable, then I’ll get to my goal the best way possible.

Do you have a goal? Figure out what you need to do to get started on your goal right now. Decide on the small steps that will help you get there from here.

I’m doing it. I’m so doing it!

I’ve confirmed my date for weight loss surgery, and I’ve paid my deposit. No going back.

I’ve told my world, and I’m telling the WHOLE world.

So, why a blog? Because:

• previous weight loss efforts worked because I had to keep track in public
• previous weight loss efforts stopped working when I had to keep track only for myself
• I enjoy reading weight loss before & after stories.

I’m going to share my stories. Stories about how I decided on lapband surgery. My experiences before, during, and after surgery. And while I’m dieting, what works for me. And, where to get help online.

So, I’m a work in progress, and so is this blog. But while my blog is going to grow in size, I am not.

I’m not a medical specialist. I’m not a fitness specialist. You should seek advice from qualified medical help before you do anything affecting your health and well-being.