Fat Woman With A Band

Pretty much all I’ve been doing is not eating.

That is an exaggeration, of course. Let’s say I’m being very careful. And it’s been difficult.

After I eat I do feel a bit of pressure. Not the uncomfortable feeling one has after overeating. It’s more like a hard knot in my stomach. I’m don’t experience an level of pain with it – it’s just “there.”

I’ve also started rowing. The instructions that come with the rower suggest starting off slowly at 10 minutes a day, and gradually increasing the time week over week. It’s felt very good to row.

The chatter on the lapbandtalk site has similar comments from the people who were banded on the same day – hunger, a bit of increase in burping, and optimism about the future. I am looking forward to the next 12 months.

On the lapbandtalk site many people have as part of their signature a little horizontal graph showing how much they want to lose and how much they’ve lost to date. I admit that I often pay more attention to this graph then to the content of the posting. I look for people who say they are planning on losing the same amount of weight as I want to lose. Then I look to see when they started to lose weight. I then apply this arithmetic to me.

I think “How much will I have lost by March?” “By the summer?” “In 12 months?” I know I’m obsessing. I think once I really start into it, I’ll be able to relax a bit.

So, what do I mean by start into it? I mean when I feel a restriction after eating, and I don’t feel hungry all day. Oh, of course when I’ve ramped up my exercise regimen. I think by the end of January I’ll be in a good place.

My plan? Do what I need to do to lose weight. And along the way work on a way to make healthy living a habit for a lifetime.

I’ve been through the four days of clear liquid, and the seven days of full fluid (creamed soup, protein drink, yogurt). This morning I begin seven days of mushy food. That’s food basically the consistency of baby food. Actually, the guidelines even suggest organic baby food as a meal.

I started off with a bowl of organic oatmeal and flax. It was delightful, thank-you.

I just finished as you can see. I’m interested to determine if it helps me feel full or sated. I’ve felt very hungry the last few days.

The bandages have all gone, and the bruise is definitely not as angry. My stomach is a little bit bumpy near the port, and I hope that goes away. It makes it a bit uncomfortable sleeping. The incisions look pretty good, too.

I’ve also regained a lot of my energy and I feel like doing more things. Unfortunately, my dislike of winter weather mitigates that a bit. Anyway, I’ll deal with it.

I’ve been working on visualizing as a technique to keep me motivated. A bit more than visualizing actually; not just thinking of me doing something, but also about how I’ll feel in my body doing that activity. I do remember what it feels like to complete a challenging physical activity, and I’m trying to recapture that feeling in my thoughts. At this point what I find physically challenging maybe totally pedestrian to most. I know I have to start somewhere.

I also remember what it felt like in my body when I wore clothes in a much smaller size. I’m trying to focus on that feeling, also.

I’m not focussing on how much weight I’ve lost. I’m sure I get weighed at the clinic on January 12th, when I go for my first fill. And whatever it is, it is.

Off I go to do a food bank donation.

I hope for a lot of things. Just like the quintessential beauty pageant contestant, I hope for world peace. I hope hungry children throughout the world don’t spend another minute hungry. I hope the cooling world economy warms up soon.

So, you get it, right? Hoping for something won’t make it happen. With these big picture issues, I can do something in my own way. Like donate to Unicef, or Save the Children. I can keep up on business news, and determine how it affects me and my own resources. I can support government policies that advance world peace, and disagree publicly with those that don’t.

I hope surgery will go well. I hope my recovery is uneventful. I hope I can follow the diet guidelines. I hope I’ll lose weight

Great. Big deal.

I plan to do my due diligence regarding the effectiveness of the program, and the surgeon’s ability.

I plan to follow the post-op guidelines, including liquid and semi-liquid guidelines.

If I work the plan, I’ll have set myself up perfectly to get maximum use from my lapband.

And, then I’m planning on making use of any services that will help me reach my weight loss goal.

So, I’m not hoping for success. I’m working a plan for success.

I’m doing it. I’m so doing it!

I’ve confirmed my date for weight loss surgery, and I’ve paid my deposit. No going back.

I’ve told my world, and I’m telling the WHOLE world.

So, why a blog? Because:

• previous weight loss efforts worked because I had to keep track in public
• previous weight loss efforts stopped working when I had to keep track only for myself
• I enjoy reading weight loss before & after stories.

I’m going to share my stories. Stories about how I decided on lapband surgery. My experiences before, during, and after surgery. And while I’m dieting, what works for me. And, where to get help online.

So, I’m a work in progress, and so is this blog. But while my blog is going to grow in size, I am not.

I’m not a medical specialist. I’m not a fitness specialist. You should seek advice from qualified medical help before you do anything affecting your health and well-being.