Fat Woman With A Band

I’m losing weight, not my sense of humour.

A friend sent me this diet today. It’s making the rounds through e-mail.

This is a specially formulated diet designed to help women cope with the stress that builds during the day.

Stress Diet

Breakfast
1 grapefruit
1 slice whole wheat toast
1 cup skim milk

Lunch
1 small portion lean, steamed chicken
1 cup spinach
1 cup herbal tea
1 Hershey’s kiss

Afternoon Tea
The rest of the Hershey Kisses in the bag
1 tub of Hagen-Daaz ice cream with chocolate chips

Dinner
4 glasses of wine (red or white)
2 loaves garlic bread
1 family size supreme pizza
3 Snickers Bars

Late Night Snack
1 whole Sarah Lee cheesecake (eaten directly from the freezer)

Sound familiar? I’d probably have more crunchy and salty stuff on the Stress Diet. I wonder if there are any substitutions allowed?

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