Fat Woman With A Band

Often when we’re learning something new we think of the process as following a steadily climbing curve, which at some point begins to decrease – the bell curve. As time increases our learning may get more difficult to begin with and then begin to drop off as we’ve “learned it all.”

In the past week I’ve been thinking of my progress curve as it relates to fitness. I don’t feel my progress has followed a standard bell shaped learning curve. Rather it feels like improving my fitness level can best be shown as a series of steps. It feels like I just arrived on the top of one of these steps or the tread after a very, very long riser.

Though my workouts haven’t been easy, I feel like I’m recovering faster between sets of exercises, and I’m able to get to the next exercise a bit faster. It’s not consistent, but I feel I’m making progress.

Also on my regular walking route around my place I used to do it in about 1 1/2 hours, with the last 30 minutes a bit of a struggle. I walked this route the last couple of days – I powered my way through it in about 1 hour and 10 minutes. I was able to sustain a faster pace, and I wasn’t dragging my butt at the end.

And I lost another two pounds. A grand week, all in all.

Did I tell you my project plan? No? Really?

I’m not surprised. I didn’t really have one articulated in my head. Other than losing weight I haven’t told many people how much I want to lose. And though I’m not quite ready to tell everyone how much I weigh right now, I can share this.

I want to lose 134 lbs. That’ll get me to a “normal” BMI for my height. To get to this goal I have three more milestones.

1. The next milestone to reach is to have lost 100 lbs. I’m 4.6 lbs away.
2. The milestone after that is to reach a BMI that says I’m overweight, not obese. I’m less than 2 points away from that.
3. The final milestone is really the goal – a loss of 134 lbs from my weight in November 2008.

I’m projecting reaching my goal sometime in March 2010. Thinking about my weight loss as a project plan, i.e., using the milestone terminology, helps me keep my eye on the prize.

I think I’m doing pretty darn good. Physically.

The pounds are dropping a bit more slowly than in the first few months, but that’s to be expected. I’m definitely more active. I meet with Jackie twice a week, do the same workout by myself one more time during the week, go to aquafit three times a week, a bodyflow class once a week, row most everyday, and walk most everyday.

I figured out that I needed to up my game a bit when the weight loss started to slow, so that’s what working with Jackie is all about. The happy fallout from that is that I’m actually enjoying it … not so much the exercise, but the feeling of accomplishment when I’ve completed the session.

The mental part of my weight loss is a bit more difficult to deal with. It’s been said that the obese eat to medicate themselves – our drug of choice. When I choose not to overeat as I’m doing right now – obviously the lapband provides some motivation to not overeat – I find not only that I have more energy, but that I also have a great deal more difficulty staying focussed.

For example, I haven’t been able to read a book in more than two months. And most everyone irritates me – actually strike that – EVERYTHING  that EVERYONE does irritates me.

This irritation phase is starting to dissipate now, after being around for about three or four weeks. And not a moment too soon.

Exercising helps stave off blowing up at everything, but the only activity that really helped was being by myself. So, thank-you one and all for putting up with me and my mood. Really. Thank-you.

I’m into my third week with Jackie, a personal trainer. I’ve had four sessions with her, and did three sessions by myself last week as I was away. I finish out this week with another session by myself.

The most obvious signs of the workouts, so far, are my skinned knees. After the first session I had skinned elbows and I still can’t do the exercise that caused the boo-boo because my wound hasn’t healed. I got the skinned knees today as I did three sets of push-ups on the carpet rather than the mat.

I also got a two new workout shirts and a pair of shorts. I’m such a jock-wannabee.

I’m pretty much doing some activity six mornings out of seven. I’m grateful I don’t have to work full-time as I don’t know how I’d do all this stuff if I was employed.

I’m also grateful it’s just a couple of skinned knees.

I’m exercising, and I’m kinda liking it. Really.

I’m not liking the hurting part, but I’m liking the feeling of accomplishment. I’m liking the feeling of knowing I’m working towards my goal. I’m liking working with Jackie, a personal trainer.

Jackie has put together a three part plan, with each part comprised of approximately six weeks of exercise focussing on a specific goal. The first part is conditioning, the next strength, and the last pure hell. Alright, maybe not pure hell, but sounding challengin.

The odd thing is, I’m up for it. Moreover, I’m even looking forward to it. Weird. Very weird.

Can a leopard change its spots? Apparently.

I’m a teeny weeny bit late with this post. I’ve tried to provide an update every Friday, but the last couple of weeks got away from me.

I spent the time socializing. Yeah for me! I didn’t spend as much time exercising as I should have. Boo for me! I didn’t overeat – too often. Yeah for me! I didn’t watch what I ate as much as I should have. Boo for me!

The best news is that I start with my trainer tomorrow morning. I’m really looking forward to what “personal training” means for me. And the other news is that I’m back at aquafit this week. Both good things.

I’m feeling full of energy most days. I’m also much more short tempered. I really have to work to reign in my grumpiness. Unfortunately, I’m not hugely successful at that. Getting active helps stabilize my mood, but even that is not consistent. I hope that the grumpiness passes soon before I alienate all my friends, family, acquaintances and complete strangers.

Grrrr.

Those words used to make me very uncomfortable. Not because I was scared of flying, but because I couldn’t do up my seat belt without a great deal of discomfort. A couple of times I flew without doing up the seat belt, and a couple of times I had to ask for an extender.

This time not only could I do the seat belt up easily, there was room to spare. I also had lots of room in the seat. Moreover, the tray table came down easily and there was plenty of room between me and it.

It was a glorious experience. One of the best non scale victories I’ve experienced so far. I’m looking forward to more.

The last time I lost a lot of weight (10 years ago), I remember being very happy when I fit into a particular pair of shorts. They were shorts from Mountain Equipment Co-op, light green, and used. They were my partner’s. I can still remember how pleased I was when I could button them up. I remember wearing them a lot.

I kept those shorts though I haven’t been able to wear them. I tried them on a few weeks ago and they fit a bit snugly, but they fit. I felt “almost there.” I’ve just tried them on again, and they fit perfectly. It’s the most curiously happy feeling – being happy in a pair of shorts that are probably 12 years old.

I then tried on all my shorts, and they all fit perfectly. Our weather hasn’t really been shorts weather yet, and today isn’t necessarily going to be either. I don’t care. I’ve got a pair on and I’m wearing them.

I know I still have a way to go to reach my goal, but at this point right now, I feel good. I feel accomplished.

Photo by Nick Kocharhook

####### ####### ####### ####### ####### ####### ####### ####### ####### ####### ##### & #!

Yeah me!

I may not be the energizer bunny. I do, however, have a lot more energy. I notice that I can walk longer before I feel tired, and even longer before I feel tired enough to rest. Also, my recovery time is decreased, and I can keep going a bit longer. As with the weight loss, I have a long way to go improving my physical stamina, and I’m pleased that I can feel the progress.

I’ve also signed up with a personal trainer to work two days a week beginning July 6. I feel that as my weight loss slows down strictly through eating less, I’ll have to increase my activity level to ensure my weight loss continues.

In the last week on two occasions I didn’t get to eating lunch. I got busy doing stuff, and didn’t work a meal break into my plan. I didn’t feel hungry, which was unusual, but my energy didn’t seem to wane either. It’s not a good thing to miss eating, I know, and that’s definitely not something I want to do frequently. I’m glad I could deal with it appropriately, as I didn’t overindulge at dinner time, just ate the right amount.

June seems to be a month full of eating challenges. Lots of birthdays, lots of special occasion gatherings, and happily a bit of travel. I feel equipped to get through it, and I’m not going to be hard on myself. I want to enjoy the social experiences, and not worry about the effect on my weight loss goals. I’ll happily indulge by tasting even those foods usually not on diet menus, e.g., birthday cake.

I’m coming up to my six month anniversary with the band, I feel in a good spot, and I’m feeling my goal is achievable.